thing-fish24's Full Review: Get Rich or Die Tryin' [PA] by 50 Cent
Get Rich or Die Tryin' was the second best-selling album of this decade. That's disturbing. In 2003, you could have bought a dozen albums. Just two days before Get Rich or Die Tryin' came out, the Frank Zappa live album Halloween was released. Okay, so maybe it was a little short, overtly relied on "popular" cuts chosen by its distributor, and was in a format that people weren't really going for, but it still had good music. You could have bought The Best of Faith No More, or waited until March, when Hed PE released their third album, Blackout. So, why did people buy 50 Cent instead? Controversy plus marketing and a lot of MTV rotation equal 50 Cent, AKA Curtis Jackson. Having signed with Columbia Records in 2000, Curtis recorded his first album, Power of the Dollar, but the album was never released when news broke that Curtis had been shot. Okay, now here's where things really get absurd. Supposedly, Curtis was shot nine times, right? Okay...how is he not dead? Is that possible? Supposedly, Curtis was shot in the face. Let me repeat that: shot in the face. Why doesn't he have a scratch on him? What is 50 Cent supposed to be, the gangsta Studebaker Hoch ("Some men say he could fly / Some men say he could swim / Others say he could sing like Neil Sedaka / And all the girls in Flushing would be amazed of him")? Okay, maybe I've gotten some of the details wrong...but, really, how do you get shot nine times and survive? What did Curtis do, make a deal with Satan? Wait, maybe I'm not far off, there. Fiddy's next spot (because "Fifty" is too hard for young suburbanite white kids who want to be "gangstas" to pronounce) was Interscope Records, the home of other controversial acts like Limp Bizkit and Eminem.
Which brings us to Get Rich or Die Tryin', one of the stupidest hodgepodges of gangsta clichés in rap history (because I refuse to associate this crap with real hip hop, like Public Enemy or Insane Poetry). The album opens up with one of the cheapest and laziest intros I've ever heard: the sound of a quarter dropping onto the table, followed by a gun quietly being loaded. Yep, that really gets you into the mood of the album, doesn't it? Personally, I would have went with a kitten meowing, or a cooing baby. You know, something a little louder. The first actual song, and the first thing on the album that isn't five seconds long is "What Up Gangsta?" Over a bland synth loop and an attempt to drill a hole into your earlobes with the annoying, pounding beat, Curtis begins his rap, which mostly consists of the repetitive shouting of references to the group that he is a member of (G-Unit), the phrases "We in Here" and "It goin' down", and the word "what" repeated infinitely to annoyance. I didn't say anything, Curtis. Stop saying "what". Curtis then asks "What up?" several times. "What up, blood? What up, 'cuz? What up, gang-STAAAAAAA?" Okay, I'm beginning to see why Curtis was shot. The first verse begins, and it's really one of the dumbest things I've ever heard: "They say I walk around like I got an 'S' on my chest / Naw, that's a semi-auto, and a vest on my chest / I try not to say nothing, the DA might want to play in court / But I'll hunt or duck a nigga down like it's sport". Did he just rhyme 'chest' with 'chest'? After this, Curtis begins mumbling like his medication just kicked in. I'm beginning to have Shaquille O'Neal flashbacks here. It doesn't help that the beat keeps droning on and on. Who wants to listen to the same repetitive piece of crap go on and on for three minutes? That's not my idea of entertaining music. Curtis' lyrics are meaningless - he randomly spits out any reference he can, off the top of his head, to gang life, whether or not it actually connects into a rhyme or not. And that same droning beat keeps going on and on!
Some cheesy Mighty Mouse synth lines start off the second song, "Patiently Waiting". The song begins, and, you guessed it, it's another droning, repetitive beat with Curtis bragging about the "skills" he doesn't have, backed by the usual repetitive shouting: "Yeah! It's Fiddy, Yeah!" There are some fake strings, as Curtis continues to randomly spout out 'hardcore' lyrics. "Many Men (Wish Death)" once again features all the lowest lyrical and musical ideas thrown into a blender and randomly vomited across the room. Another droning beat with a ear-blasting intro. Curtis mumbles "Many men, wish death upon me / Blood in my eye dawg and I can't see / I'm trying to be what I'm destined to be / And niggaz trying to take my life away / I put a hole in nigga for fucking with me / My back on the wall, now you gon' see". Is this an actual album? Seriously? They actually released this thing? And people bought it? The hell? Our next cliché-ridden clunker is "In da Club". Yes, "Da". Not "the". "DA". "Duh". "Der". "DUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH". Another thumping beat, ridiculous synth strings, and, perhaps dumbest of all, handclaps. Did they know how stupid this sounded when they created this? BUMPF BUMPF BAP! Dahm, Dahm. Dahm, Dahm, Dah-Duhm. BUMPF BUMPF BAP! Curtis is solo on this track offering the following pearls of wisdom: "You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub / I got the X if you into taking drugs / I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love / So come give me a hug if you into getting rubbed". Uh...right. By the way, 50 Cent appeared on a 2005 episode of The Simpsons. Who loses "street cred" there -- Curtis, or Bart Simpson?
"High All the Time" is, not surprisingly, an ode to marijuana. Why does every hardcore rap album have one of these? On "Heat", Curtis is backed by gunshots and what is apparently an accordion (what is he, preparing for his career as a polka singer?) as he raps some of the dumbest gangsta clichés ever recorded: "If there's beef, cock it and dump it, the drama really means nothin / To me I'll ride by and blow ya brains out / There's no time to cock it, no way you can stop it / When niggas run up on you wit them thangs out". Yes, you read that right: BRAINS / THANGS. 'Things' already didn't rhyme with "brains", and pronouncing the word as 'fangs' doesn't help. The piano on "If I Can't" sounds like something out of The Brady Bunch. The beat, again, is gratingly loud and irritating. The lyrics are once again a clichéd pastiche: "I apply pressure to pussies that stuntin' I pop / Stand alone squeezin my pistol I'm sure that I gotta / Now Peter Piper picked peppers and dont rock rhymes / I'm 50 Cent, I write a lil bit but I pop nines". Um... "I been feelin I had to teach lessons to slow learners / Go head act up, get smacked in the head with the burner / I dont fight fair, I'm dirty-dirty / I'm from Southside Jamaica, Queens, nigga / Ya heard me?" Uh... Moving on, "Blood Hound", "Like My Style" and "Don't Push Me" each feature an appearance by G-Unit's three other members: Young Buck, Tony Yayo and Lloyd Banks. Basically, Curtis assembled a trio of rappers who are even less talented than he is in order to make himself look good. For variety, the beat of "P.I.M.P." sounds like a...steel drum? Hey, could be worse. You could be forced to endure the torture of having to listen to Crank That Soulja Boy.
Get Rich or Die Tryin' is the musical equivalent of an action movie where no one even tries: the director's asleep at the wheel, the stars are bored, the script blows, the score is the same as every other genre flick released in the same year, and the sound effects suck. I'm not kidding when I say that Get Rich or Die Tryin' is one of the worst albums I've ever heard. Not only is it one of the most lyrically idiotic things ever released, there is not one piece of good music on this album. Get Rich or Die Tryin' is dumb in every retrospect. This is one of the most intellectually devoid albums ever released. There are absolutely no redeeming values about this album. This rap is crap. Listen to some real hip hop. Buy some Madlib, MF Doom, Kool Keith, etc. 50 Cent is at the absolute bottom of the musical barrel.
This album features 50 Cent s Wanksta single from the 8 Mile soundtrack. Get Rich or Die Trying also features In Da Club, the first Dre-produced track...More at Buy.com
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